


How much I love you

by So_much_of_the_sins



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, I tried to make myself cry, Not Beta Read, Sad Ending, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-18
Updated: 2017-12-18
Packaged: 2019-02-16 13:37:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13055064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/So_much_of_the_sins/pseuds/So_much_of_the_sins
Summary: You were blind when you met Carl and Carl didn't mind he always stayed close to you, he never leaves your side. Until the group arrived at Alexdrina you both drift apart, while Carl and Enid grew close. You didn't let hate and jealousy consume you so you stand by and let them be happy together. You would always stay by his side even when he left yours, but you left his side to save his life, you paid the price.





	How much I love you

You didn’t realize you were shot when you hear Carl screaming your name, that’s when you felt the excruciating burning sensation, hot blood pouring out of your mouth and down your back. It felt like your guts had been ripped apart and pulled out of your body. your lip trembled as you struggled to keep your tears at bay “I’m going to die… I don’t want to die, not yet. Please not, Carl-” you thought yourself. 

Carl started to cuss under his breath as he watches you crumple to your knees, you looked in so much pain, keeping your head down and closing your eyes, he finally made by your side. Carl didn’t hesitate to slap you across the face “(y/n), stay awake keep your eyes open, don’t go to sleep. You hear me?!” He then scolded himself for hitting you so hard, but he had to do it because if you went to sleep then you would never wake up and when you did you wouldn’t be yourself.

The sudden hit made you jump. But, you kept going in and out of consciousness, “Carl, are okay? Are you hurt?” you paused “Are you bit?” Carl's chest tightens he was fine and that’s what was killing him inside, why was he fine, but you weren’t. Should he tell you the bitter truth or sweet lie, not wanting to upset you he nodded.

“I’m fine” 

Air hiccup in your chest, you smiled “I’m glad to hear that” Carl had a lump in his throat, rage was consuming him but not at you, no, it was at him. He failed to protect you, he promised he would be your eyes forever, to always hold your hand and never let go. But he let go for a split second and you sacrificed your life to save his “Why?... Why me?”  
You were silent for a moment “My body just moved on its own… you know that I love you, right? That’s what people do… they do anything for the people they love- “ cut off by your own cries, you started to sob. Carl's arms began to shake violently, he let out a painful gasp, Carl needed to take you somewhere safe somewhere far away from this place, but where? 

“There’s so much death today… don’t you die too.” 

You held Carl’s hand tightly in your hand, bringing his hand close to your lips to kiss his knuckles, the same hand that held yours before you both arrived Alexandria, but his hand let go of yours when his eyes met Enid. You couldn’t bring yourself to kiss him on the lips, never on the lips, because those belong to someone else, someone who was strong and brave, someone who could see your beautiful angel. 

You could feel how badly Carl was shaking, his grip no longer gently but painfully tight, you wanted to ease his heart, softly and slowly you began to sing  
Come with me my love  
To the sea  
The sea of love  
I want to tell you  
How much I love you

Do you remember  
When we met?  
That’s the day I knew you were my pet  
I want to tell you  
How much I love you

Come with me my love  
To the sea  
The sea of love  
I want to tell you 

Your singing was interrupted when Carl let out a painful wail, he couldn’t do anything. He could only watch you fade away from this world and turn into… he didn’t want to believe that you could turn, he silently prayed that you would survive this and live another day. A hand shook his body, Carl let out a snarl as he swiftly reaches for his gun raising his head to glare at the foe, but he relaxes as notice it was his father. “Carl, we need to go- “Rick's eyes landed on your bloody body being cradle in Carl's arms 

“oh…Oh no, no, no.”

He grips his hair and tugs gently. Not wanting to accept your faith, your end. “(Y/N), No, not (y/n)” he whispered. How would Carl handle this? Losing his best friend, losing someone that stayed by his side through thick and thin, keeping Carl balanced, stable, even when Carl pushes her away and moved onto Enid. (Y/n) kept smiling at the couple, watching how her hand desperately reach out to hold Carl hand only for (y/n) to quickly pull away. Now, she’s holding Carl hand tightly after being away from it, so long. Rick didn’t want to be the bad guy, but they needed to leave before the walkers overwhelm them. 

“Carl… I’m sorry” 

The scene was breaking his heart, it shattered when he gently separated the two as Carl begged to stay “No, please wait, (Y/n) needs me, I abandoned her before, I can’t do it again” tears ran down his cheek as Carl continued to hold her hand, his grip tighten when they’re arm’s length away. (y/n) whimpered as she reluctantly loosens her grip, Carl stares at (Y/n) as she weakly waved them goodbye with a happy smile with blood dripping on the corner of her mouth. 

Carl pulled away he thrashes around trying to get out of the hold that Rick had on him, he began to scream.

“NO, NO, NO, DAD LET ME GO, SHE’S DYING we can still save her, we can- “ 

Tires screech, a door burst open as a voice tells them to get in, Carl continues to argue but Rick shoves him in the car he took a glance at you and he almost moved to go grab you, but could you survive the car ride and live more than one day. 

“It’s okay, Rick… It’s gonna be okay” 

Rick punches the car door and with a heavy heart, he climbs inside the car.

Your losing too much blood, your limbs could barely function. You kept your heavy eyelids open, as you watch the car speed away further and further away until you couldn’t see them anymore. 

How much I love you

**Author's Note:**

> Yo, I came here to write some angsty stuff. This isn't beta read, I did the best I could fixing my grammar errors making sure everything made sense, but I sorta rush it. I just wanted to write something, this is mostly for myself because I kept thinking about this for awhile and I had to write it down. Anyways, I hope you enjoy if you like this maybe I'll write more Carl x reader. Also, I was planning to write more but maybe next time!


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